Adversity in Sobriety
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August 14, 2022
Dear God, good morning. Please, Jesus, help Gary, Roman, and myself. Poor Gary is so upset, and so am I. Roman refuses to tell the truth about what happened yesterday. Roman got increasingly aggressive with Gary. Gary was nice to let Roman use his phone so that Roman could call his father. Roman’s dad, Richard, hasn’t gotten Roman a phone yet. More adversity for sobriety.
When Roman wanted to call his father, Gary said OKAY. But then, when Gary needed the phone back for the meeting, he said to Roman, “I need the phone at eight, and you can have the phone at nine.” Boom! Roman snapped and forced himself into Gary’s room, pushing Gary with his hand on his chest. Gary gave Roman the phone. Roman just lost it and could not get into Gary’s password on Gary’s phone.
Gary approached, asking Roman nicely for the phone back. Roman became adamant, yelling, “it’s my phone.” He lost control over his behavior and his anger. We did not know what to do. Then, Roman threatened to destroy my bedroom if Roman didn’t get to use Gary’s phone.
Roman approached my room and went in, but Gary tried to stop Roman. Roman grabbed my standing closet and destroyed it while Gary and he struggled. Everything was on the floor, my clothes, hats, scarves, etc.
Roman has no filter. He can’t and won’t see the truth. He scares me. What will he do next? God, I need patience with Roman. Gary said he’d put a lock on my bedroom door so I could feel safe at night. Monday, we must go to court and ask the Judge to help Roman not to fall through the cracks of the failing system that is supposed to keep him safe! Gary and I love Roman like a brother, and we love him to pieces, but something this severe needs to be reported.
I’m pissed off with the Department of Mental Health and the company Vin Fen who is responsible for Roman’s safety. I’m a mandated reporter, and I must report this incident. Roman may need a day program to help him function better with his behavior and mental illness, and he needs coping skills to control his outbursts and behavior. Please, Jesus, help Roman.
Today, I feel emotionally exhausted because of yesterday. I Know Roman fears that we’re going to leave him. He’s frightened because his father does not want to be with Roman. Roman feels abandoned and doesn’t know how to control his impulses. He needs to learn to take responsibility for his bad behavior. Roman’s dad lived in Florida, disowned Roman, and gave Roman to the State of Massachusetts. The state had poor Roman living in a rooming house with drug dealers, addicts, and alcoholics. That is where the system failed, Roman. Roman doesn’t know how to love, he said to me this morning, so sad.
I get it! I was abandoned by my parents too. It appears that Roman can’t give love because he does not know how to love. Please, dear Jesus’ watch over our house. I love you.
