Alcoholism
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June 21, 2022
Good morning, God. Years ago, I wrote to you in two-thousand and fourteen when I was still in the throws of my alcoholism, and I was now going out drinking as much as possible. It is very dangerous for a woman to be by herself. Usually, I go out with my so-called girlfriends. But I didn’t care.
I went out one night, and I had my pool stick and wanted to play pool for drinks at this scummy place where drug dealers hang out, alcoholics, like myself, and the gang members of the Bloods hang out there too, but they never bothered me. My poor husband was away, so I went out that night to get drunk, which was my goal, and to play pool. Every time I won, I would get free Captain Morgan.
I had blacked out, and I woke up to find two guys pushing me into the back seat of their car. Well, I kicked my way out of the back seat. Once I got out of the car, I hit the guy in the face and knocked him down into the bushes. I saw my phone and purse on the ground, so I picked them up.
I ran across a huge street to find two women walking down the sidewalk. I yelled, “Two Latino guys are pushing me in their car.” I recognized one woman, Donna, my old boss’s daughter. I told her that I used to work for Billy at the Cove. Donna said, “Don’t f*** talk about my father.” She said F*** you to me. She was drunk. Then this beautiful Latino woman walking with Donna didn’t want to help me. Then I screamed, “Mamita,” the Latino woman turned around and came to my rescue. I went into a blackout again. I don’t remember walking to Patriot Taxi. The beautiful Latino woman and Donna walked me to the taxi place.
The dispatcher called my friend Billy who works for Patriot Taxi. He happened to be sohba for forty years. I kept blacking out, then the next thing I remember was I was in the taxi with Billy. He said, Hi Geri, how are you doing? I said I felt like throwing up. He said that’s fine. Where do you live? He asked. I told him what had happened about the whole night. I told him where I lived, and he took me home. I didn’t have money because it had fallen out of my purse. I told Billy that the next time I saw him in the fellowship, I’d give him the twenty dollars. He said you don’t worry about it. I don’t remember going into the house that night.
The next day I got on my knees and prayed. Then I wrote this note to you, Jesus. Dear Lord, please help me with my troubles and sadness. I pray for my family and other families too. I am a lost little sheep; please guide me with your love and strength. Please hold me up and help others in need. I love you. Thank you for your love and protection.
I wrote that note to you because I was now frightened and begged you for help the next day after the attack. My big brother Gary came down from Haverhill to Malden and took a taxi to my house, and he stayed with me for the whole weekend. I’m a fortunate woman who should be dead, institutionalized or jailed.
I’m a true alcoholic who needed help. I had resentment against my husband because he kept using the word divorce, which was hurtful. He didn’t see a weak and sick alcoholic with a powerful soul sickness. He sees a drunken woman who smells like alcohol and can’t get out of bed because she had been so sick from drinking the night before. I would drink at home almost every night because I stopped going out because of the attack. Thank you, Jesus, for saving me the night of the attack. You woke me up at the right time to get out of the car and run across the street. Then you placed two women in my life when I needed them, then a ride home from a friend. I’m a blessed woman because of you, Jesus.
My favorite little book, God Promises for every day, talks about Jesus being your protector. It writes, “Lord, you keep me alive even when I have trouble all around me. When my enemies are angry, you will reach down and save me by your power.” Psalm 13-8:7 This statement was true for me. When I was in that car that night, and in trouble, you rescued me from harm that night. Thank you with all my heart. I am one lucky woman who made it back to the fellowship. I feel blessed by your love, Jesus.
Then the book also states, “I leave you peace; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don’t let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” John14:1
“Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy and praise, think about the things that are true, honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected,” Philippians.
I like to follow your teachings, Jesus, because it tells me how much you love us. Only to follow the fruits of faith, peace, love, joy, courage, humbleness, and honor. You always find a way to help me when I ask for help. And thank you for the peace that I feel. Even when life gets hard, you always seem to be there for me in times of trouble. Thank you. Love me
