Answered Prayer from God
June 27, 2022
Dear God, good morning. Throughout the years of growing up, I knew a little about you, Jesus. Even then, a foster mother had me in catechism at nine. I disassociated from people and kids while taking catechism. I was “taken” away from my sisters and brother. I was traumatized because I didn’t have my siblings, and they are my world. And I was on my own, scared, lonely, frightened of foster parents. What if they would hurt me as my mother and father did. I had not found prayer yet and had no idea the power of it.
Today’s reading from God’s Promises for every day writes: “Truth from the Bible, Answered Prayer.” I don’t know how to pray right. I only asked for your help, Jesus, after crying, because of my depression and situation. You came to my rescue. The book says. “The Lord is close to everyone who prays to him. He gives those who respect him what they want. He listens when they cry, and he saves them. The Lord protects everyone who loves him, but he will destroy the wicked.” Psalm 145:18-20
I believed in you since that glorious morning when you came to me when I was weeping. Before you left that morning, my prayers were answered. My depression slowly faded, and I stopped crying because I felt hope in my heart and peace in my soul. You have always been there for me since I was little and throughout my adult years, and I couldn’t see it.
I was a child who had no one; I’d cry at night in these homes. Wanting to be with my siblings, I missed them. Years later, my sibling and I reunited when we were teenagers. DYS couldn’t stop me from running away from foster and group homes. I was elated when I was able to see Denise, Sunflower, and Willy when I was fifteen. I had been drinking alcohol since I was thirteen. I hid my drinking from my family. No one knew unless they all knew, but they didn’t question me about my drinking. I wouldn’t drink around them.
Today, my siblings know I have a drinking problem. Instead of praying to you, Jesus, I drank myself to oblivion and didn’t care about anyone or anything. I wasn’t afraid because I had to grow up fast and be tough, to survive the streets of Boston. Pure survival skills. My attitude was, “No one is going to tell me what to do anymore.”
Now that I’ve been sohba for five and half years, this time of coming back to the fellowship. And have been around the fellowship most of my life, and I believe I’ve been in survival mode for many years. I was dealing with night terrors, sleeplessness, and flashbacks from my childhood of all the abuse. Those were difficult times for me. I was a nanny, going to college for Social Work, and struggling with depression. Flashbacks were the most painful experiences. Especially my mother’s abuse that traumatized me to the point of not eating. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is what my friends were trying to tell me back in nineteen-eighty-nine.
I was furious with them. They would say, “Geri is at peace when she sleeps.” My friends watched me sleep the memories away. That’s how I coped with sexual abuse and the severe abuse by my mother. Jesus, both my parents were wicked, and the day my father died, I cried out to you like a little girl. I was afraid that my father was going to hell. I forgave my father and begged you, Jesus, to take him to heaven the day he died. I hope he’s with you. As far as my mother, she never believed in you, Jesus. She was wicked too. But I pray her soul goes to heaven as well. I forgave her a month ago while I was writing to you. Please, dear Jesus, take them in because they need “Love” from you.
The Scripture tells us what the fruits are. They are faith, Love, peace, joy, forgiveness, understanding, patience, and tolerance. Since last year I’ve been praying more and writing to you and reading the Bible, and now I’m slowly learning to read each passage every morning to get closer to you, Lord. I love you. Always love me.