August 16, 2021

Good morning dear God. Please ease my frustration. Please keep me in your heart today. My anxiety is terrible. Please keep me from getting angry today, also. I know I must pack to go to Ecuador with Fernando at any moment. His father must have surgery this Thursday. Please, dear Jesus, help him through his surgery and allow him to survive his heart surgery. Please heal my anxiety. It’s too much to handle. Last night around 3:15, I woke up in the presence of the evil devil in my bedroom. It scared me. It says in the Bible that the evil one will try to scare you, temptation, just as he did with you, Jesus. Three o’clock in the morning is the devil’s time. But one thing I know is that he won’t get my soul. It belongs with you, Lord Jesus. So far, my anxiety is slowly going away.

Having depression and anxiety is a horrific thing to go through at the same time. My depression creeps in, and Boom! The world looks ugly. Everything is in slow motion. You can’t breathe or even talk to anyone. When experiencing both symptoms, such as my anxiety. It prevents me from trusting people. My heart races, breathing hard, and I get tremors, and I want to jump out of my skin sometimes.

But I know you are here with me through my difficulties, Jesus. I must stand firm through the storm, be brave, wear a suit of armor, and go through both illnesses simultaneously. It will be good if I stay up and watch a movie tonight. I’ll try to stay with Gary. Fernando and I watched a movie about vampires and werewolves; then I went to nap for an hour, and Fernando watched the rest of the movie. That’s how I cope with depression try to sleep it away, like when I was a child, but no one knew it was depression. They thought I just loved to sleep. Okay, I feel much better. Thank you, Jesus. I love you.