Anxiety and Depression
September 5, 2022
Dear God, good morning. Fernando is sleeping, and it is raining hard here in New Hampshire, please Jesus, you know I am afraid of driving lately. Please guide us home safely. I was depressed yesterday, and I went to take a nap and ended up waking up at eleven p.m. Fernando asked if I was okay, and I told him I was having anxiety and felt depressed. Both combinations make it hard to function. I fell back to sleep.
I woke up this morning and went on Tina’s hour. The topic is what to do when you fall short. In our fellowship, we have topic discussion’s about how to stay Sobha during a difficult time. If I keep working on the steps, read the Big Book, and help another woman. Then the chances for me to stay sohba is wonderful. If I stay in the middle of the herd like Terri says, “Elephants carry their wounded elephants to safety, and we never shoot our wounded. A woman like Terri has so much wisdom because these are life skills for me. The people in the fellowship lift my spirit. The chances are I’ll stay sohba for one more day.
Jesus, you know in my heart that I love you. Please guide my thinking and actions. I’ve been working on my fourth step for a while, and sometimes I cry because I almost destroyed my marriage. Fernando told me if I drank alcohol again, he would divorce me, and I believed him.
Dear Jesus, please keep me humble, and can you please take away the depression again? I’m trying hard not to let the depression take over. I will focus on being kind to myself—no pressure to do anything.
All I need to do is cook breakfast for Fernando, take a shower, and pick up to leave. Hopefully, it isn’t going to rain too hard for my drive. Fernando needs to get his license. Please help him get his permit, so he can start driving. My husband sometimes brings up the past, and it breaks my heart. I wish he would understand that I’ve been sohba for almost six years. Fernando is kind, fun-loving, gentle, and funny, and he loves affection as well as I do. We cuddled up and did watch a movie together. Then I went to take a nap. I need to get ready. Love you, Jesus.