Blessings in Recovery
November 21, 2022
Dear God, good morning. Thank you for all the blessings I have received. Jesus. The Bible says, “God can give you more blessings than you need.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 The most important blessing I have received is Your love for us, Jesus. You took me out of the pits of hell and blessed me to get sohba again in twenty-sixteen. I was desperate for help because I was now drinking close to a gallon of red wine within two days.
I was physically sick from drinking so much alcohol. I would come home late in the early mornings, and my husband shook his head with disbelief. Fernando hated my drinking, and when drinking alcohol, I became a falling-down piss-my-pants drunk. Fernando never trusted me when I was drinking and threatened to file for a divorce.
Then I had to put my dog, Annie, down because she had four-stage cancer under her furry neck. Annie died on March 23 twenty fourteen. It crushed my heart. Jesus. I drank alcohol like it was water. I just lost my best friend. Annie and I were always together.
Annie was a black labrador and part chow. She was a very protective and playful doggie. She became my service dog, and she went everywhere with me. If I mentioned the park, she would run to the door, and she was a love bug. She would sleep with me and take up the whole bed. She was a big dog, and she weighed seventy pounds. I would go homeless for Annie. That’s how much I loved her. Annie taught me unconditional love, And thank you, Jesus, for giving me Annie when I needed her the most.
.One, I took Annie to the veterinarian because I noticed Annie was drinking too much water, and it worried me. Then the veterinarian told me that Annie had four-stage cancer and there was nothing they could do to save her.
When the veterinarian doctor told me that Annie had four-stage cancer, I was in shock and disbelief that tears poured down my cheeks like a waterfall because I knew I had to put her down. So she would not suffer anymore.
The night before I had to put her down, we ordered pizza. It was Annie’s favorite human food. I never gave her people food, but this was her last night with us. I said, “Annie, you wanna pizza?” And she would come right over to me with a happy look on her face because she loved pizza. Fernando had to carry Annie up and down the stairs to take her outside.
The day came when I had to put my Annie down so she would not suffer. She was everything to me, and she was like my child. Since I never had children, Annie was my baby.
I had to say goodbye to Annie at the veterinarian’s office. The lady put Annie and me in a room together. There was a SpongeBob blanket on the floor. My heart sank as I walked into that room with Annie by my side, and I walked towards the wall and collapsed to the floor. I grabbed the SpongeBob blanket and told Annie to come near me, and she lay her head on my lap. I was wailing, and I could not stop crying.
The lady asked if I was ready to put Annie to sleep. I shook up and down and kept bawling my eyes out when she put a needle in Annie’s shoulder to put her to sleep.
I kept patting Annie’s body and telling her I loved her so much. I cried out so loud. I think everyone was in shock by my sobbing. The lady came back in and asked if I was alright. I was not alright. I feel like a piece of me died that day. My weeping was uncontrollable when the lady gave Annie her last shoot in her shoulder. Annie was sleeping on my lap. This was the last time I would ever see my Annie girl again. I have her ashes, and she will be with me forever.
I do not know why I wrote about Annie-girl. Maybe because I never dealt with her death. Just like you’re a blessing to me, Jesus, Annie was a blessing. Nothing is going to separate me from you, sweet Jesus. Please play with Annie-Girl. I love all the “Blessings” you have given me, even though sometimes it hurts. The Bible writes, “God is strong and can help you not to fall. He can bring you before his glory without any wrong and give you great joy.” Jude 24-25 truly believes you have blessed me throughout my life. I know you heal the brokenhearted and save them through your unconditional love and mercy. I pray that I will see my Annie-Girl.