• denial,  Fear,  mental illness


    December 5, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Today’s reading from the book God’s Promises for every day writes, “What to do when you feel rejected?” I was a child when my mother rejected me because It appeared that I was closer to my father than my mother. My father accepted me, so I felt safe when he came home from work. Or when he would take me to work with him, I was only four years old. My father had his own business, and he was an Exterminator, and he was known as Bill the Bug Man. I was always happy to be with my father because he would not…

  • relapse
    Alcoholism,  denial,  Fellowship,  Shame

    Relapse in Detail

    September 2, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Yesterday, I was writing about the last time I was out drinking. I wanted to be a “Social Drinker,” and I meant it! I wanted my cake and eat it too, and I wanted to drink alcohol without any consequences or problems. I was heading toward relapse! When bartending at the Disabled American Veterans (DAV), Many bikers were now coming down to the DAV, it was a clubhouse for them. They would do the ice bucket challenge outside to the new prospects. Watching some tough biker guys scared of the ice bucket challenge was hilarious. I got to know a few guys personally,…

  • relapse
    Alcoholism,  denial,  Relapse,  suffering

    Relapse and Rationalizing

       September 1, 2022 I volunteered as a barmaid at the Disabled American Veteran’s club (DAV). I was Sobha for a year. I was okay with bartending. I passed the test with flying colors. I received my certificate to bartend. I didn’t even have a desire to drink alcohol. The people came down to the DAV in Malden, Massachusetts. The drinks were cheap. A Capitan and coke only cost three dollars. People from all walks of life came to the bar. They played darts and pool, and on different nights the veterans would play whist, and on Thursday nights, it was Texas Hold’em. And I would play cards with them.…

  • fellowship
    Alcoholism,  denial,  Faith

    Fellowship is not Enough

    August 17, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Last night Roman got afraid again. Roman woke Gary and had Gary go downstairs to bring the police into the apartment. I slept until after the cops left, and Roman woke me up. I woke up to Roman banging on my door. I told Roman to go to bed and to put his television up so Roman doesn’t hear our neighbors opening and closing their doors downstairs. Roman needs outside help, a day program to teach him how to deal with his fears, and they teach him coping skills and hopefully life skills. So that poor Roman can get the support he needs.…

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