• mental illness

    Fruits of Love

    January 22, 2023 Dear God, good morning. Thank you for a restful night. The book God’s promises for every day speak about, “What to do when you are frantic and stressed?” When I feel those feelings, I tend to overreact. Especially when my sisters team up against me. And it hurts my heart. I react and erupt like a volcano sometimes and this is not the way I want to live. I had to stop reading their text to me. They act like strangers to me, and it really hurts. They think I should repent to you, Jesus. Have they repented? This isn’t the first time they ganged up on…

  • denial,  Fear,  mental illness


    December 5, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Today’s reading from the book God’s Promises for every day writes, “What to do when you feel rejected?” I was a child when my mother rejected me because It appeared that I was closer to my father than my mother. My father accepted me, so I felt safe when he came home from work. Or when he would take me to work with him, I was only four years old. My father had his own business, and he was an Exterminator, and he was known as Bill the Bug Man. I was always happy to be with my father because he would not…

  • Adversity,  Fear,  mental illness

    Being Afraid in Recovery

    November 8, 2022 Good morning, Dear God. Today’s topic today is “Being Afraid.” I have always been afraid my whole life, and I ran on “self will-run-riot” since I was a child. When I was three, my mother forced me to eat oatmeal for breakfast, but it was lumpy and hard to swallow. I refused to eat the oatmeal, and my mother said, “You’ll eat this for dinner.” Since childhood, I was always fearful of my mother’s scorn. She always scared me, especially when she was drinking alcohol. My siblings and I feared both of our parents when they were drinking booze. Arguments between my parents were scary to watch,…

  • advercity
    Adversity,  Anger,  Anxiety,  mental illness,  relationships

    Adversity in Sobriety

      August 14, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Please, Jesus, help Gary, Roman, and myself. Poor Gary is so upset, and so am I. Roman refuses to tell the truth about what happened yesterday. Roman got increasingly aggressive with Gary. Gary was nice to let Roman use his phone so that Roman could call his father. Roman’s dad, Richard, hasn’t gotten Roman a phone yet. More adversity for sobriety. When Roman wanted to call his father, Gary said OKAY. But then, when Gary needed the phone back for the meeting, he said to Roman, “I need the phone at eight, and you can have the phone at nine.” Boom! Roman snapped…

  • Spirituality
    Adversity,  Anxiety,  Honesty,  mental illness,  self-will

    Spirituality Versus Adversity

    August 13, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Please give me patience this morning. I need all the spirituality I can get. Gary told Roman we were going to John’s cookout, but he couldn’t go. Roman started getting aggressive and worse. He got upset when I told him the cookout was private. Roman was demanding to use Gary’s phone. Gary told him to leave, and Roman forced his way into Gary’s room. Gary got up, and Roman physically pushed Gary. Gary was shaking and upset. Gary told Roman either you go into a day program, or if not, Geri and I are moving. Roman proceed to destroy my bedroom. I ended…

  • alcoholism
    Blog,  depression,  mental illness,  open mindfulness,  recovery


    July 15, 2022 Good morning, Dear God. It’s my niece’s birthday, and I can’t believe she’s twenty—seven years old. Where did the time go? Happy birthday Yasmina (baby-gir). I was telling you about my introduction to the fellowship Jesus. My second meeting was at a lecture hall at Harvard University. As I entered the hall, I noticed only men were in the meeting. I saw that these men talked about their lovers. I thought they were compassionate and so loving regarding their wives. So I thought, Wow, men have feelings? Then they had a break during the meeting. Many were gay, and I didn’t know it was a men’s gay…

  • faith
    Adversity,  Anxiety,  depression,  Faith,  mental illness

    Faith and Bipolar

    July 9, 2022 Dear God, good morning. I know very little about the Bible, and I am hoping to join a church in my neighborhood soon. Gary said there’s a church that only says, “Just Church”. I would like to check out that church. Today’s reading is about, “Faith”. I sometimes question how strong my faith is with you, God. I know in my heart that I love you and that you rescue me from myself. I do have faith in you, it’s blind faith. I can’t see you God, but I believe you are with me when I’m writing to you. Sometimes I question my faith. I think everyone…

  • mental-Illness
    Anxiety,  depression,  mental illness,  recovery,  Sadness,  survival

    Mental Illness in Recovery

    Good morning Dear God. Poor Roman returned to the hospital within the last month, Roman’s third time going into the hospital. Please make his doctor put Roman back on his new medicine. When Roman came home from the previous hospitalization, the hospital doctor put him on a new treatment, Trileptal medication, which helped Roman so he won’t hear voices or think that people were trying to hurt him. I’m agitated this morning because Roman has a heart of Gold. And Roman should not suffer because of his original doctor, Tod. The Doctor at Saint Elizabeth told Tod and Greg that Roman was on a new treatment and ready to leave…

  • depression
    God,  Love,  mental illness,  Strength,  suffering

    Depression with Bipolar

    May 19, 2022                                      4:31 a.m.     Dear God, good morning. My depression is slowly lifting. I don’t feel lost or sad anymore. Jesus, you took my agony away, and I thank you. I feel free from the depression. I must call my doctor today and explain how I have been feeling. What can I do to stop the depression from manifesting in me again? Nothing. I’m stuck with this illness of being Bipolar, with severe mania and then deep dark depression. It makes me cry knowing I have Bipolar Disorder. According to WebMD, the definition of Bio-Polar 1 is That it writes, “Most people with the bio-polar1 disorder also…

  • anxiety
    Anxiety,  depression,  Fear,  mental illness

    Anxiety and Depression

    August 16, 2021 Good morning dear God. Please ease my frustration. Please keep me in your heart today. My anxiety is terrible. Please keep me from getting angry today, also. I know I must pack to go to Ecuador with Fernando at any moment. His father must have surgery this Thursday. Please, dear Jesus, help him through his surgery and allow him to survive his heart surgery. Please heal my anxiety. It’s too much to handle. Last night around 3:15, I woke up in the presence of the evil devil in my bedroom. It scared me. It says in the Bible that the evil one will try to scare you,…

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