• alcoholic
    Adversity,  Alcoholism,  Anxiety,  Fear,  suffer,  suffering

    Alcoholic and Alcoholism

    September 8, 2022   Dear God, good morning. Yesterday I did not want to deal with the world, and all I did was rest, and I fell asleep early. On Tina’s hour, we spoke about the 24-hour book, The Thought for the day writes, “But for the grace of God, there go I.” When I see active alcoholics drinking, walking down the street with a paper bag. And the one who is waiting at the liquor store to open. I never look down on an alcoholic or drug addict. I don’t like that statement. “But for the Grace of God, there go I.” Yes, the active alcoholics and drug addicts…

  • relapse
    Alcoholism,  denial,  Relapse,  suffering

    Relapse and Rationalizing

       September 1, 2022 I volunteered as a barmaid at the Disabled American Veteran’s club (DAV). I was Sobha for a year. I was okay with bartending. I passed the test with flying colors. I received my certificate to bartend. I didn’t even have a desire to drink alcohol. The people came down to the DAV in Malden, Massachusetts. The drinks were cheap. A Capitan and coke only cost three dollars. People from all walks of life came to the bar. They played darts and pool, and on different nights the veterans would play whist, and on Thursday nights, it was Texas Hold’em. And I would play cards with them.…

  • Alcoholism,  Fellowship,  Friends,  God,  relationships,  suffer,  suffering

    St.FrancisPrayer Fellowship

    June 17, 2022   Good morning, God. Today’s reading is about you protecting those who come to you for help, or you Jesus go to them to comfort those in pain. In God’s Promises, it writes: “The Lord is good, giving protection in times of trouble. He knows who trusts in him.” Nahum 1-7 Last year I started to believe in you. It wasn’t always that way. I have been running my whole life. I ran from relationships or to them, and I ran the show. I had to be strong when I was sixteen, but I was amid my alcoholism then. I didn’t even think about you, Jesus. I…

  • feeling guilty
    Adversity,  Alcoholism,  forgiveness,  God,  suffer,  suffering

    Rejection as a Child

    June 9, 2022 Good morning God. I feel great this morning. Yesterday’s writings were intense. I read my Dear God letters to Terri. And I could not stop crying. I had to breathe in and out and pause for a few minutes to center myself. Because my emotions were all over the place, I felt sadness in my heart for my parents. I know my mother was an atheist or agnostic. She didn’t believe in you. She died without watching her children grow up except Sunflower and Crystal. She did not know much about me. My mother decided to allow the adoption to go through with a foster mother named…

  • depression
    God,  Love,  mental illness,  Strength,  suffering

    Depression with Bipolar

    May 19, 2022                                      4:31 a.m.     Dear God, good morning. My depression is slowly lifting. I don’t feel lost or sad anymore. Jesus, you took my agony away, and I thank you. I feel free from the depression. I must call my doctor today and explain how I have been feeling. What can I do to stop the depression from manifesting in me again? Nothing. I’m stuck with this illness of being Bipolar, with severe mania and then deep dark depression. It makes me cry knowing I have Bipolar Disorder. According to WebMD, the definition of Bio-Polar 1 is That it writes, “Most people with the bio-polar1 disorder also…

Verified by MonsterInsights