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Faith in Sobriety
January 10, 2023 Dear God, good morning. The topic I need to require is having faith in you, Lord Jesus. I begged you for help back in two-thousand-fourteen. I still drank alcohol and learned that my dog Annie-girl had four-stage cancer. The veterinarian told me the terrible news. And I had to put Annie girl down, which was the hardest thing I had ever done. I only had Annie for eight years. It broke my heart. I believe that Annie girl is on the rainbow bridge with other doggies. You gave me faith in Jesus. When I had a lovely dream of Annie’s girl. I remember waking up at six…
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Surrender to Win
December 31, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Today people in the fellowship shared about “Surender.” I floated around the fellowship going to sohba dances with sohba friends, and we went to sohba Anniversary Parties and Sohba Clubs. I just existed in the fellowship. We had a lot of fun, which is a part of sobriety. However, We have a Big Book and step book to work on our charter defects. Working on my charter defects is not easy. But I trust Terri, my friend, confidant, and sponsor; to tell her about the defects of the charter that hinder my spiritual growth. And I hope that I will feel better. When…
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Surrender in Recovery
December 12, 2022 Dear God, good morning. I was in a meeting this morning, and we discussed the third step in our literature. I know that it took me forever to surrender to your will. Maybe thirty-five years, and that’s a lifetime. I would not believe in you because my biological body abused me. It was a painful childhood. My mother would beat us senselessly with our father’s belt buckle. And my father would sexually abuse my sista Denise and me. We had to stand up near the bed and rub my biological father’s back, and his boom boom (ass) as he watched the Celtics play basketball. I was only…
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Surrender to Your Higher Power
August 12, 2022 Dear God, good morning. Today’s reading is about what to do when you doubt yourself. In recovery, I do doubt myself all the time. I am working on step four which states, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Pg 42 in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions is confusing for me. In this step, I need to surrender all of my fears and write them out on the computer. I also need your help, Jesus. I need to talk with Terri again, and she’s so patient with me. I hope she understands. I do not understand the third part of step four. I doubt…
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Bipolar and Alcoholism
May 13, 2022, Dear God, good morning. Went to a meeting this morning. I was feeling lost. Maybe it’s the depression coming back. I feel lonely. Why do I feel this way? I hate it. In the year of two-thousand and five, I was diagnosed with another illness, bipolar 1. It sucks having this illness. My girlfriend took me to the hospital because I had a bad episode of mixed emotions. When I discovered that I was labeled Bipolar, I was pissed off at the doctor. I was in a manic state of being angry, and I didn’t know how to calm myself down. My energy level was off…
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God is Love
May11,2022 Good morning, dear God. I recently found the little journal I wrote back on March sixth; nineteen- eighty-seven that was thirty-four years ago, when I was twenty-one years old, and I had just moved from West Newton to Revere. I turned down a four-year scholarship to live on campus at Boston University. I feared failing, so I decided to go to hairdressing school. I was going to miss all my friends back In Newton, but I was now going to school to become a hairdresser. To a point, I was so excited to move to a big city, Revere, and go to school at Wilfred Beauty Academy in Malden.…
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God is my Protector
May 8, 2022 Good morning, God, You know when I start writing, I can’t stop. Today’s reading is about “Jesus is your protector. My little brown book says, ” The Lord your God will go ahead of you and fight for you as he did in Egypt you saw him do it.” It also states, “The Lord sees the good people and listens to their prayers. But the Lord is against all those who do evil, If your trying hard to do good, no one can really hurt you.” 1 Peter 3:12-13 Jesus, I know you’re my protector, but…
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Surrender to God
August 10, 2021 Dear Jesus, I surrender all my sins from the past. Please wash away all my sins, and please keep me on the right path. It says in the book that “God Promises”, “But God’s mercy is great, and he loved us very much”. I was spiritually dead inside my heart and my faith. I don’t want to be spiritually sick. Until your grace came over me like a soft blanket covering me from head to toe. I was overwhelmed with love, joy, and a spiritual awakening. I believe it was you, Jesus that came to me in my prayers, I sometimes feel like I am that I’m…