May 7, 2022

Dear God, good morning. I woke up at three this morning, and the trouble is I can’t go back to sleep. I can’t even take naps. And it sucks! Today’s reading is about “What to do when you feel depressed?” Jesus, you’ve helped me cope with my depression. I can’t handle the depression. Before, I couldn’t get out of bed. The depression crippled me. I would get up, wash up, and then go back to the bedroom and into the bed. No food, just feeling lost in the depression. It consumed me daily and then monthly. I hated how I felt, I could barely eat, and sleep was the only way I dealt with my depression. Sleep took away that feeling of uselessness, despair, and being incapable of doing anything. I guess I still do that.

I go to bed early, like five p.m. I don’t fall asleep until seven or eight. A couple of days ago I went to my room at two o’clock and fell asleep. It’s the only way I can cope with depression. It says in the book God’s Promises for every day. It writes, “Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected.” I must think of the good in people in this world. I have friends that are true, honorable, and loving. I hate to reach out when I am depressed. Maybe I can go to a website and find out how others cope with their depression.

God, when I do go into depression, please take it away. I can’t handle it. I will give it to you. It says in the book, worthy and praise. I feel blessed and praise you, sweet Jesus. You came to me when I was crying. I felt your presence and the warmth of your arms around me. I feel worthy of your love Today. I feel blessed that you’ve saved me from myself, “Self will run riot.” I was all over the map with my emotions and trying to find you, Jesus. I was lost with my feelings of sadness and grief, trying to find you on my own.

Then you created 319, which was new at first, doing meetings online. It looks like “The Brady Bunch.” I love it! Somehow Gary found it online, and we started attending the meeting. Matt S was the chairperson and gave Gary and me a warm welcome. I fell in love with the 319, which has meetings twenty-four hours a day. They spoke about their feelings on the 319.

I found my sponsor at the 319 meetings. I met beautiful people from all over the world. I sit and listen for the message. I speak about the old-timers and how they taught us, young people, “not to take the first sucker drink.” They would say, “We want you, we need you, and we love you.” I never could let people get close to me like the way these old-timers did. They were nice to me when I first started attending meetings three times a week. I’m going on a zoom meeting and hope to see the girls. Thank you, sweet Jesus.

Depression Website