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September 21, 2022

Dear God, good morning. Today’s topic is powerful. The book God’s Promises for every day writes, “Jesus is your Forgiveness” I was spiritually dead coming back to the fellowship in two thousand and sixteen. My soul felt empty, and my heart has broken into thousands of pieces. I had no forgiveness for anyone in my life. I lived in a world of hate. I hated my biological parents for physically, mentally, and sexually hurting me.

It has taken me my whole life to forgive my parents. I hated my parents. It had a firm hold on me, but I forgave my father, who said he was sorry for what he did to me. Don’t get me wrong. I hated my father, and I tried to scare him when I visited him in nighteen- ninety-seven. Rage permeated my veins when I approached his house. And I proceed to see and scare him like what he did to me as a child. I was in his house as he opened the door. I went to scare him. I yelled at him and put him in the corner with his round kitchen table against him. I yelled. and frightened my father. He somehow escaped and ran to call the Chelsea police. They came and escorted me off the property, and I was crying when they arrived. I knew hating my father would devastate him. Then one day, I forgave him on his death bed in two-thousand-and one. Also, I felt compassion for my father. I did love my father.

My mother was the hardest because of her severe physical and mental abuse. After all, she thought she was a good parent and never said she was sorry to me for physically hurting me and trying to kill my siblings and me. I forgave my mother a few months ago while writing to you, God. I finally surrendered to forgiving people that have hurt me. The Bible writes, “When you are praying if you are angry with someone, forgive him so that your Father will also forgive your sins.” Mark 11: 25

Forgiveness was the hardest thing I had to do. I had to eliminate my hate. I didn’t realize how proud my father was when I went to college. I used to wear the color black all the time, like going to a funeral. I was in the mists of my disease to alcohol. I was spiritually dead because I refused you, Jesus, for the longest time. I think I hated you the most for separating my siblings away from me. I had violent parents and was raped by a foster brother. Thank you, Jesus, for teaching me forgiveness. And you saved me from destroying my life.

The Bible speaks about the spiritually dead it writes. “When you were spiritually dead because of your sins and because of your sins and because you were not free from the power of your sinful self. God made you alive with Christ, and he forgave all our sins.” Colossians 2:25 I am a sinner, but I’m working on my charter defects while writing about them, such as resentments. I can’t afford to have any resentments. I would pick up the phone and call another woman instead of picking up a drink of alcohol. I’m doing my fourth step, and it’s very painful. But I’m doing it. I love this next passage from the Bible.“The Lord says, Come let us talk about these things. Through your sins are like scarlet. They can be white as snow. Though your sins are deep red, they can be white like wool” Isaiah 1:18

When you speak, it’s a powerful message, and I now believe in the Bible and what it says. I’ve been writing to you, God, for over a year, and it does please me to do your will. Patients, love, and tolerance is our code in our fellowship. Thank you for your fruits: love, faith, joy, patience, forbearance, gentleness, kindness, and discipline. I can honestly say I feel the fruit of the tree. Thank you, sweet Jesus, for loving me. I love you too.