October 29, 2022

Dear God; Good Morning; Wow, a God Shot this early in the morning? I open the book “God’s Promises for every day” to “Forgiving others. All I can say is, WHAT? For me, it is not so much forgiving others as forgiving myself. I have an extremely hard time forgiving myself for past transgressions.

Sometimes, no a lot of times, I don’t think I deserve forgiveness. I know this makes no sense, but I feel responsible for what happened to my biological parents, and I wish I could go back somehow and be there for my mom. As for my father, I am still resentful of him for leaving and for being an alcoholic, although he probably had no choice.

I know as a 1-year-old, there was nothing I could do to help my mother and stop my father from leaving but still… For me, I MUST forgive myself first, and I won’t be able to move ahead until I do this.

I don’t know what forgiveness looks like. How do I go about this? Maybe I should talk to God about this and see what He says. I will start talking to people about this.

The lack of self-forgiveness makes both my heart and soul very heavy. Do I hate myself so much that I can’t even conceive of forgiving myself? Maybe if I continue to apply myself to this program and allow the fellowship to come into my life, I might be able to forgive myself. As a final note, I have to figure out just what I am forgiving myself for.

Thank you for coming into my life and helping me see these faults. Thank you for keeping me sober and clean. Thank you for helping me to see things more clearly.

Please help me today as I start my day. Help me to remember you are there for me to lessen my burden and help me to understand.

How to Forgive Others

Jesus is my Friend