September 12, 2022

Dear God, good morning. Today’s reading from God’s Promises for every day writes about the devil. Oh boy, the book says to wear armor against the devil who is lurking around to steal our souls. But according to God, we wear the armor of God. The book writes, “Put on the whole armor of God so that you can fight against the devil’s tricks… That’s why you need to put on God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil, you will be able to stand firm. And when you have finished the entire fight, you will be standing strong…To do this, you must always be ready and never give up. Always pray for all God’s people. Ephesians 6:10-18

Jesus, you are my armor against the evil one. I feel I’ve been to hell and back. The hell I experienced was self-will run riot and my alcoholism. Throughout the years, I believed that you were watching over me while trying to fix my life by going to college, working, and attending the fellowship daily.

I never let you in my life, and I kept pushing you away from me. I was an atheist and refused to believe it because my biological parents were abusive. Gary suggested that maybe I had to experience the abuse, so I may help others who may have been abused too.

Maybe Gary is right, but the intrusive memory of my childhood keeps haunting me for some reason. I never really dealt with the abuse, and my childhood’s sad secret still lingers. I need to call Dr. Francie this week and discuss how I’m doing.

I feel like a little vine on your tree, dear Jesus. I need the fruits of the Spirit. “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. No law says these things are wrong.” Galatians 5:22-23 I crave to be closer to you, Jesus. I feel safer that you’re in my life, and I love you. You gave me hope last year when I was desperate for help.

I’ve struggled with clinical depression my whole life, hurting my heart. I need to call my doctor today and tell her that I’ve been going to bed early in the afternoon to escape the feelings of sadness, inadequacy, self-doubt, lack of sleep, and energy. I’ve been feeling this way for three weeks now.

The anguish in my soul was so painful. Maybe it was my chronic depression. I have a soul sickness so powerful, I could not, or would not pray to you, Jesus. Then you came to me last year, and I felt the presence of your love for me, and you saved me, thank you, and I love you. You gave me hope last year when I was desperate for help. The anguish in my soul was so painful. Maybe it was my depression.

I had to read about love again in the Bible. It states, “God is love. Those who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. We love because God loved us first. 1 John 4:16-19

Jesus, when you were here, you healed so many people, the people with leprosy. You healed the blind, and you healed the woman who only wanted to touch your clothing so that she could recover from bleeding. You healed a man’s heart because of your unconditional love for us.

Jesus, thank you for loving me the way I am. Love you