May11,2022

Good morning, dear God. I recently found the little journal I wrote back on March sixth; nineteen- eighty-seven that was thirty-four years ago, when I was twenty-one years old, and I had just moved from West Newton to Revere. I turned down a four-year scholarship to live on campus at Boston University. I feared failing, so I decided to go to hairdressing school. I was going to miss all my friends back In Newton, but I was now going to school to become a hairdresser. To a point, I was so excited to move to a big city, Revere, and go to school at Wilfred Beauty Academy in Malden. And continue to work for Brigham’s ice cream in Malden. My boyfriend Joseph was a short Italian sweetheart, loving and adorable. He went to Babson College in the town of Wellesley.

I was trying to communicate with you back when I was drinking God. I’ve read one of my journals, and it overwhelmed me. It said, “I’m scared.” about eight times before I got to the fourth page. I was scared about making new friends. I was homesick and missing my friends. They seemed so far away because I didn’t drive yet. I grew up in Boston, used the trains and buses, and didn’t need to drive. My friends went off to college too.

I was still drinking alcoholically because I was still that scared little girl by this time. She was frightened about everything. Drinking gave me a false sense of myself, making me think I wasn’t afraid anymore because alcohol temporarily took the fear away.

Today’s reading is, “What to do when you’re afraid?” God’s Promises for every day. I was always afraid. This stems from my childhood. So, it makes sense that I would be frightened of people, places, and situations. Psalm 91:4-7 writes, “Where God’s love is, there is no fear because God’s perfect love drives out fear.” I used to be a runner, running away from people who got too close to me. I find a reason not to have no actual contact with anyone. I was always afraid. But today, I’ve come a long way since my younger years because you, Jesus, carried me through many frightening situations throughout my life. Like the “Footprints in the sand prayer. You picked me up and carried me through some difficult times. I was still drinking, hitchhiking around town, and getting in cars with strangers. I was drinking in all types of bars. I didn’t care about anyone except my drinking. I loved to drink alcohol so much that I was messing my life up, and I didn’t care.

In “God Promises, it states: “If God is with us, no one can defeat us.” Romans: 8:29, 31,35-39 “All you who put your hope in the Lord be strong and brave.” Psalm 31:24 I know that love conquers all evil. I must remember this passage, “The Lord is my light and the one who saves me. The Lord protects my life; I am afraid of no one.” Psalm 27:1, 3.

Today, I feel your protection, dear God. I trust that you will protect me from any harm. And help me to be strong and brave. Please help my sister Sunflower; she’s depressed, and her depressions last for months. Please be with her today. And I pray for my family and friends. Thank you, Jesus, for your protection. Love me.

know god