God is my Protector
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May 8, 2022
Good morning, God,
You know when I start writing, I can’t stop. Today’s reading is about “Jesus is your protector. My little brown book says, ” The Lord your God will go ahead of you and fight for you as he did in Egypt you saw him do it.” It also states, “The Lord sees the good people and listens to their prayers. But the Lord is against all those who do evil, If your trying hard to do good, no one can really hurt you.” 1 Peter 3:12-13 Jesus, I know you’re my protector, but please be Fernando’s protector. He’s been living with these evil people. An old couple that behaves uncivilized, which is what Fernando has been dealing with since I left. Because of the way they treated me with disrespect.
Well, I get to see Fernando today. I think that being apart from him is contributing to my depression. I am so sure of it. I have missed him terribly since I left that house. Our old neighbors, Jack and Jill, had lived downstairs from us on Harvard street. We agreed that we share the big house on Arlington street. Well, knowing someone and living with them is hugely different. The husband and wife are like tyrants. They forged our names to the lease and hid it from us. My friend Lisa was a witness to the singing of the lease. Lisa told me. I was bull-shit. I thought about what kind of people would forge other people’s names on an important document, like a lease, which is illegal. I explained to the landlord that the signatures were not our signatures. Thus, I told the landlord we were not on the lease. It didn’t bother her.
We should have moved out, but we stayed. The wife is on some drug, and the husband is defiant. He’s always complaining all the time. He raises his voice loud throughout the large apartment. Often, he would yell at his wife and call her terrible names. He is awful, mean, and nasty.
The wife and I had it out too. I asked her to make room in the Refridgerator because I was going food shopping. She ignored me, then she got into my face and yelled at me, saying, You guys eat out all the time.” I said back off, Well, I’ll be cooking more often.” And I did raise my voice at her. I wasn’t going to let someone like her treat me that way. I told Fernando the story, and I told him I wanted to move, that these people are fuckin crazy. The wife listened to my phone conversations, and I felt I had no privacy.
So I told Fernando everything, and I told him I’m giving you nine months to move out of the house. That’s plenty of time to find an apartment. I looked, but Fernando was too tired to see the apartments because his job worked him through the bone. He came home tired while I had to deal with these people. The husband would fart in front of you. He has no sense of decency, and he’s gross. There were other arguments as well between the wife and I. But at least she would say she was sorry for her part, and I said I was sorry for snapping at her when she would yell at me or get in my face. I wanted to move, and Fernando didn’t realize I was serious about moving out.
Fernando decided to stay with those people. After being gone for two months, Fernando realized how horrible these people were to me. Fernando started to notice Jack’s rude behaviors. And Jill was always listening to poor Fernando’s phone conversations. He now understands me and wants to move out. That’s terrific news. We need to do something. Jesus, I’m sorry that I wrote ill about this couple. You were there and saw how they treated Fernando and me.
With your Grace, please help Fernando make up his mind. He wants to do many things, but I’m not living with him, which saddens me. We need to make a move this year. I crave my husband’s hugs and kisses. He’s a beautiful man. He’s astute, soft-spoken, kind, gentle, funny, tender, and loving. I adore him so much and love him dearly. Thank you for putting Fernando in my life. He’s my “Rock.” Love you, Jesus
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