January 18, 2023

Dear God, good morning. I was reading the book God’s promises for every day. It writes, “What to do when you don’t understand God’s will? Sometimes I feel weak in my heart and soul, especially when I feel depressed. I inherited this from my parents, the depression. My spirit feels low today. Most times, I feel lost when it comes to the Bible. Maybe a Bible study can help come closer to you Jesus. And help me to understand what your will is for me.
I am still taking baby steps in the fellowship. The fellowship has the Twelve and Twelve-step book. Step four brings up many emotions sadness, remorse, guilt, and shame. I need your help to get me through step four. Maybe Terri and I can go over it again. I’m not giving up on the fourth step, I need to do this step, and I will finish it!
Terri is like my guardian angel. You sent Terri to me, who is so loving, understanding, kindhearted, beautiful, and intelligent. I love her as if she was my big sister, and thank you, sweet, Jesus, for putting Terri in my life. Terri and I have grown so close together. Thank you, Jesus, for being a wonderful sponsor, friend, and sista.
The Bible writes, “If God is with us, no one can defeat us. Terri would say to me, “Where is God in this?” I need to get The Life Recovery Bible, There’s so much I need to know about you, Jesus, and I feel lost. Step four brings up so many negative memories for me, and I hear Terri say, “Go to the past but don’t get stuck in the past.” Well, I got stuck in the past. I have been writing to you about my crazy history for over a year.
It feels lovely to be able to write to you, Jesus. I believe in you because you came to us so that we can see the light of God. It’s said in the Bible, “Come closer to Jesus, and he will come closer to you.” Over a year ago, when I started to write to you, sweet Jesus, I was that lost sheep until I got on my knees and prayed, and I did not know how to pray correctly.
I surrendered to your will because you walked this earth and carried the word of God. That’s the truth. When I was hopeless and helpless, I cried out to you, Lord, and my tears went away. I do remember having a warm feeling surrounding my body. Was that your Grace? I truly believe you came to me when I cried out to you.
That warm feeling felt like you were holding me in warm arms. The Bible says, “So don’t worry because I am with you. Don’t be afraid because I am your God. I will make you strong and help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you.” Isaiah 41:10
I strongly believe in you, Jesus. Your words are powerful, comforting, loving, and joyful. I wonder if it was your right hand holding me? The Bible writes, “The ways of God are without fault. The Lord’s words are pure. He is a shield to those who trust him. Psalm 18:30
I do believe you are the Lord, Jesus. Your words continue to sing in my heart this morning. Your words are pure, like love, faith, peace, joy, kindness, goodness, and self-control. I feel happiness, peacefulness, joyfulness, and, most of all, love. And your love us unconditionally.
The Bible writes, “I will make an agreement with them that will last forever. I will never turn away from them and always do well to them. I will make them want to respect me so they will never turn away from me.” Jeremiah 32:40
I know in my heart that God loves me no matter what people may say about me. It’s none of my business. We were taught that in the fellowship. God, please, if any troubles come my way, help me. My depression has lifted this morning because I am writing to you. You are the light that I can see within my heart. My soul is filled with joy because I love you, sweet Jesus.

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Heart of God