October 30, 2022

Dear God, good morning. I”m starting to feel better. Thank you for nursing me back to health. Three more days of steroids and rest. The book God’s Promises for every day writes, What to do when you are in doubt about yourself?” I doubt myself all the time, and I second-guess everything I do. Because my self-esteem determines how I feel emotionally. There are days when I feel strong, and I know you have the Holy Spirit lovingly watching over all of us.
The Bible says, “So don’t worry, I am with you. Don’t be afraid because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you; support you with my right hand that saves you.” Isaiah 41:10
Yes, you saved me, sweet Jesus. From being an atheist to a believer. The definition of an atheist is written in google:
“A person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.” I was that person. I ran the show, and you, Jesus, were not part of it. I’m not proud of being an atheist, and it’s part of my story, and I’m sorry for not believing you years ago.
I was taught to be a self-sufficient woman by my father. He instilled in me that work ethics were important as going to college, and I was the first to go to college in my family. My father told me he was proud of me that I graduated from North Shore Community College, and I never knew my father was happy for me.
When I am in doubt about anything, I breathe, pause, process, and proceed, and I pray at that moment, asking you for guidance and to direct my thinking throughout the day.
Some days in sobriety when I don’t ask for help from you, Jesus, and I want to do my will. My day becomes crazy and unmanageable. The Bible says, “Trust the Lord with all your heart and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success.” Proverbs 3:5-6
There it is in the Bible, “Don’t depend on your own understanding.” I know little about the Bible and you, Lord Jesus. I’m learning not to react to situations that used to bother me. I always have to learn lessons on my own in the past, but now I have you as my teacher, Jesus
I pray throughout my day when I am feeling my emotions getting irritable, especially when quitting cigarettes.
I need your help, dear Lord, to quit smoking. My wheezing and coughing constantly are enough for me to quit smoking this time. Gary and I are supposed to quit together. I hope he does quit smoking cigarettes. If I keep on smoking cigarettes, I’m going to keep on getting sicker. It’s hard to breathe, and have a constant cough at the same time. The cigarettes have to go for me. I know after thirty-five years of smoking cigarettes, I have to stop smoking. Please, dear, Jesus, helps Gary and me quit smoking, and keep my emotions stable while I begin my journey without cigarettes. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Love you, Jesus.