Higher-Power is my Savior
June 29, 2022
Good morning, dear God! I’m happy and sohba today. Gary got me a new book, God Promises, for every day. I’m giving it back to him because I think the book will help him, as it’s helped me. I started reading from the beginning of the book. “God Promises for every day, ” says, “Jesus is your savior.” It continues. “He saved us because of his mercy. It was not because of good deeds we did to be right with him. He saved us through the washing that made us new people. through the Holy Spirit through Christ, our savior..” Titus 3: 5-6
Jesus, you saved me so many times. You were my saving grace and kept me from drinking myself to death. Jesus, you believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. I lived on self-will-run-riot and was running away from people or into bad relationships. Or I wasn’t good at relationships, and maybe I couldn’t be in a romantic relationship throughout my twenties, thirties, and forties. I was a full-time student at Salem Unversity studying to be a Social Worker. And I was working as a nanny. Always busy meeting up with close friends, going to the fellowship, and a movie later. I was too busy to have a higher power in my life.
However, I find myself getting closer to you today and every day, sweet Jesus. I am so grateful to you for opening up my eyes. The book God’s Promises for every day says, “God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes him may not be lost, but have eternal life.” John 3:16
Jesus, you loved me when I was messing up my life. I would cry to you, but I didn’t think that you were with me in my times of trouble. I remember writing to you in two-thousand-and fourteen, asking you for help to stop drinking alcohol and isolating yourself from friends who were sohba. I would cry to you, Jesus, but I didn’t know all your teachings, and I’m still learning. I was in so much emotional pain and suffering from depression. You got me sohba on November eleventh Two-thousand and sixteen. A year ago, I was depleted with my emotions. You defiantly came to me in my sorrow.
I want to say that I’m so sorry that you were tortured and your anguish. It hurts my heart the way you died. You are my heavenly father, and I love you, love me.