Love and Adversity
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May 26, 2022
Good morning, dear God, Yesterday was intense. Today the scripture speaks about “Love.” According to “The Life Recovery Bible,” writes
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud, or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no records of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, it’s always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Corinthians 13:1-3.
I love Corinthians because it speaks of love. Please, sweet Jesus, help me never to lose faith in you. I believe in Corinthians because it’s a better way of life. However, I was not too fond of the world at the age of ten when DYS took me away from my siblings, and my world collapsed because they separated from me. They meant the world to me. We were the “Four Amigos,” running around everywhere when we were together. Without my sisters and brother, I was lost. I love them so much. They were everything to me. Then they were gone. They are the only ones that loved me unconditionally.
At the age of ten, I was so angry and sadden that I might never see my siblings again. Yes, Jesus, I was mad, but not at you, but at the DYS. They eventually split up Denise, Sunflower, and Willy and placed them into their own foster homes. DYS kept us separated, which broke my heart. I ended up in a foster home with fourteen foster brothers living downstairs and a girl named Jessy, with whom I shared a bedroom. I was scared. I don’t know why I’m writing about sadness when the topic is “Love.” Well, the only love I received was from my siblings. DYS never allowed me to see my sisters and brother. I went into a deep dark depression. I would not eat or play with other children at school and the other foster kids. I’d cry a lot in bed at night. I lost my family, and everyone expected me to function as an average child.
I remember kids my age having fun in the schoolyard or at sports. I was lonely, frighted, and terrified of the foster parents. Would they hurt me physically, sexually, and or mentally? I didn’t know what to expect in this new home. Yes, I ended up being sexually abused by their son Donnie. He was in his thirties babysitting us. He would come into my bedroom and make me touch his penis. I would close my eyes. I hated him so much! He was gross, smelly, and ugly. I was afraid that the foster mother and father wouldn’t believe me if I told him because it was their son.
Then there were two foster brothers I would get into fights with. I wasn’t scared because my father taught me how to defend myself with boxing gloves. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me again.
Sweet Jesus, I know you gave us free will, my parents, foster brothers, foster parents, and social workers. They decided to do evil things to me. I’m not a victim but a survivor in all circumstances in my life. I’m a stronger woman today because I forgave my parents and foster brothers. Forgiveness is important because it sets me free from those who hurt me. I love you, sweet Jesus, have a lovely day!
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