June 11, 2022
Good morning, God. Today I see Fernando. I miss him. He’s gentle, loving, soft-spoken, attentive, and understands my illness. He thoroughly loves me even though I put him through hell. I stayed out all night, lying, hiding my bottle, fighting with him. Today is different, he doesn’t fully trust me, and I don’t blame him. At least we’re talking, and I’m asking for what I want in this marriage and what I need. And he tells me everything will be all right; I trust him with my heart. I love him with all my soul. Love’s grace strikes again.
Today’s reading is about love. It took me a long time to accept love from people. No one in my family mentioned love. No affection, no consoling if one of us children got hurt. Love meant pain, and children were seen and not heard. I received no affection or love from either of my parents. I’m sure my siblings would agree that love was not given to us by both my parents. Thank you, Jesus, for my siblings. I believe they kept me alive with their love. If one of my siblings got hurt, we consoled each other and only had each other for affection and love. In psychology, they say that if children don’t receive love, physical touch and affection are imperative for early-child-development. An infant needs that love and affection. Sometimes, a child will die, and that child suffers greatly throughout adulthood.
I believe that my sisters and brother nurtured and loved me too. Today I can love others, and I’m learning to let others love me. It’s not easy, and maybe it stems from my childhood with the lack of love in my family. Trusting others to love me unconditionally is difficult. I keep people at a distance, especially if they get too close. I have a love for my family and friends. Love is a powerful word. The book “God Promises for every day” writes, “And so we know God’s love for us, and we trust that love. God is love. Those who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. We love because God first loved us.” 1 John 4:7-12 Jesus, I trust you and a few other people. I love you and am learning to love my sisters and brothers. I’m learning to do your will with love, patience, and tolerance. But there’s a lot on my plate. Please help me to help myself to do the next right thing. I try your will, and everything always works out. Thank you, sweet Jesus loves you.
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