Patience with Anger
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June 6, 2022
Good morning God, wow, my little brown bible book, God’s promises for Every day, is about how to handle your anger and to forgive my sistas and brothers. It writes, “Patient people have great understanding, but people with quick tempers show their foolishness.” Proverbs 14:29 Have patience with anger.
I ran wild in the street of Boston with my friends drinking most nights. I was a runner most of my life. I was young and angry. I’ve been angry throughout periods of my life. The Bible says it’s foolish to be angry. It states, “Patience is better than strength. Controlling your temper is better than capturing a city.” Proverbs 14:29
My anger is foolish. I have a resentment list that is getting longer. It’s my fourth step resentment list. I’m writing down people, places, and situations. I resented you, Jesus, my whole life being an atheist. I never hated you; I was too stubborn to stop running amuck and making a mess of my life due to drinking.
My anger kept people at a distance because I didn’t trust people. I ran through relationships like water. Being in a relationship meant companionship, love, kindness, laughter, joy, and open communication. I sucked at relationships! I suck at communication.
Relationships are for another day.
Lately, I have not been too angry. My anger is fear-based, and fear can’t live in the same house as faith. Today I’m learning that my faith is stronger than my fears. I don’t go down that street of anger anymore. I can’t afford resentments or anger, or I’ll drink again. I need to eliminate character defects that still linger in my mind and soul. I need to focus on love, patience, and tolerance which is my sponsor’s code for good living. I pause, take a deep breath then respond to others and situations.
Terri tells me about her experience of staying sohba and happy. I adore Terri. She helps me with my emotions. Doing the fourth step isn’t easy, but I know I can do this. If I get stuck, I text her SOS. She picks up every time I’ve needed her. I love her for teaching me how to cope with people, places, and things. Terri always says we’ll take it slow, which is fine.
Yesterday I saw Ferrando, and we went to look at a house, and it was too small for the price they were asking for. It’s beautiful, but there is no driveway, and one mile away from the Malden train station. We need to be closer to the train station.
Tom is a broker helping us buy a house we can afford, and he’s been in the real-estate business for thirty-five years. Please, sweet Jesus, please help us while we purchase a home and guide us to the right house. I want to get a German Shepard to feel safe when Fernando is working. So, we need a more oversized yard. The home was beautiful but too small inside the house, and the yard was tiny.
It was terrific to see Fernando smile while looking at the house. He loved it! He wanted to buy it. He’s so funny and adorable. Fernando was like a kid in a candy store. He loved the house once we got approved for a home or maybe a two-family house for extra income. I pray for help, and I quiet my mind. So, I can do your will. I don’t know your will, but it’s coming. God oversees my life today. Thank you, Jesus, for your teachings. Love me
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