September 20, 2022

Dear God, good morning. Today’s reading is about Jesus being your Peace. And the Father of Jesus states, “But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away from God are brought near through the blood of Christ’s death. Christ himself is our Peace. I was far away from you, Jesus, because I did not understand your “Peace” The Peace I feel is genuinely happy in my heart. But there was a time I would not believe in you. I was arrogant, selfish, self-righteous, too proud, and self-absorbed in my career. I was a fallen down piss my pants drunk. I had no peace.

When I was getting sohba in two-thousand and sixteen, I had the dry heaves, and I was physically sick for five days, stuck in my bed like the exorcist—tossing around in the bed because my body was in a lot of physical pain. I did have my Sista Sunflower, who nourished me back to health. I would have suffered more if my sister didn’t feed me and gotten me out of bed. I probably should have called someone down at Club 24. I was in no condition; I was physically sick. I’m sorry for messing up my life.

The Bible writes, “God has given a son to us. He will be responsible for leading the people. His name will be Wonderful Counselor, Powerful God, Father Who Lives Forever, Prince of Peace. Power and Peace will be in his kingdom and will continue to grow forever…The Lord All-Powerful will do this because of his strong love for his people.” Isaiah 9:6-7

That is a powerful passage. Jesus or the Holy Spirit came to me in two-thousand and sixteen. I was spiritually and mentally dead in my soul. You got me sohba, and I became strong again from my sister Sunflower’s cooking. I didn’t feel peaceful when I was getting sohba again. I struggled with my mixed-up emotions, explaining why I drank after nine years of being sohba. I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sohba—bottom line. I wanted Peace of mind, my thinking was distorted, and my body hurt. It says Jesus is your Peace. I believe that to be true. I felt your presence in my bedroom a year and a half ago. Or maybe it’s the Holy Spirit. I want to believe that you, Jesus were with me that day. I was a train wreck, sobbing, emotionally distraught, and needing help spiritually. I was spiritually dead inside. I believe you came to me because it felt like you were holding me that morning.

Jesus, you are so powerful. On that day, I felt a warm feeling around my body. I can’t explain it, and you stopped the tears from falling, and I felt your Peace in my soul. Your Peace is so calming, relaxing my anxiety and easing my depression. Today I have Peace because I have you, sweet Jesus. I finally believe in you. I’m so sorry for the way I was living my life. I love your Peace, Jesus.