August 25, 2022

but something is holding him back. Trusting you is scary for Gary. It appears that Gary is going through the motions of cominDear God, good morning. Poor Gary wrote a love letter to you, Jesus, and it ended up being very emotional for me to hear. God, please help Gary through his journey; he wants to believe in you,g closer to you, Lord Jesus. Gary uses the waterfall analogy for Gary to hang on the cliff with dear life, and he does not know how to let go of the cliff. Meanwhile, everyone is saying to Gary, “Just let go” Please, Jesus’ help Gary with his faith. And I hope you will give Gary comfort, faith, love, peace, joy, kindness, and goodness, all the fruits of your passion for Gary. Dear Jesus, guide Gary to the light. Please help him with his past. Help him only to remember and not relive. I love my brother Gary so much he deserves to be hugged by you. I’m praying to you, sweet Jesus, that Gary finds you on his path to recovery.

I relived my past all the time when sohba. I tried to find my own identity while I was drinking alcohol. And when I did revisit my past, I got “Stuck” in the past. It consumed me for decades to the point of not letting God in my life. I denied you, Jesus, and I’m genuinely sorry.

Today’s reading from the book God Promises for every day speaks about, What the Bible has to say about the Grace of God. It writes, Lord, you gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your care, you watch over my life.” Job 10:12 According to the Bible, Job was out fishing and got swallowed up by a whale, and yet he had faith in you, God, and you saved him. Because Job’s faith was strong, Job trusted you, God, to bring him to safety. Please help Gary with his faith in you, Jesus. My faith took me my whole life to find you, Jesus. It was a hard path that I was on—drinking alcohol, sleeping with different men over the years, and hoping for a genuine love relationship. Drinking or not drinking, I was promiscuous throughout my thirties. I now know it was sinful for me to behave in that manner. I was a rebel without a cause. I had no identity. No family, no adoption took place.

My identity was lost in the abyss of loneliness and sadness, and despair. I was drowning in alcoholism. I felt that I was not good enough for God’s Grace. And I probably didn’t deserve his Grace. And I kept destroying my life. Drinking alcohol was like having a drink with the devil day or night. I know the devil wants everyone’s “Soul,” and he’s not getting mine.

I still have a lot of reading to do in the Bible. I’m new to the Bible and never picked it up to read. I was floating in life without you, Jesus, and you saved my life like you saved Job. Because today I have faith in you. Your love is why I’m writing to you. My faith in you is powerful, and it’s unexplainable. Having God’s Grace means that Jesus, you have my back. No one can hurt me. If so, I come to you for help, and you are there for me in times of trouble.

I love you, Jesus. Thank you for giving me my Spirit back. Thank Jesus for everything that you have given me. And for all that you have taken away from me. And all that you have left me. And I know you won’t leave me with my difficulties alone. The book also says, “Trust the Lord with your heart and don’t depend on your understanding. Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success.” Proverbs 3:3-6

I love you, sweet Jesus. Have a gorgeous day!