September 1, 2022

I volunteered as a barmaid at the Disabled American Veteran’s club (DAV). I was Sobha for a year. I was okay with bartending. I passed the test with flying colors. I received my certificate to bartend. I didn’t even have a desire to drink alcohol. The people came down to the DAV in Malden, Massachusetts. The drinks were cheap. A Capitan and coke only cost three dollars. People from all walks of life came to the bar. They played darts and pool, and on different nights the veterans would play whist, and on Thursday nights, it was Texas Hold’em. And I would play cards with them. Relapse wasn’t even on the horizon.

I started to get to know the regulars that come in every night. Then a group of at least fifty bikers came to visit me. They needed a hangout so they could have their meetings at the DAV. The bikers were all respectful and pleasant to talk to. Of course, they carried guns. They all do. It was the summer of the “Ice Bucket Challenge. The bikers would have prospects watch their bikes and stand at the door. They loved me, they said. I was their favorite bartender, but I got to know the big boss of the bikers. He was a cute short Irish man.

Now, I was getting busy on Friday nights. I had over sixty people in the bar, and one of the bikers asked me why I don’t drink, Geri. With saliva in my mouth and my mind saying, just have one drink it won’t kill you, I began to feel the excitement inside my being. I was salivating for a drink of booze. Watching everyone drinking and having fun, I thought, “Maybe you’re a social drinker?” Before I opened my mouth, the biker bought me a drink.

I walked over to Captain Morgan and poured myself a double shot with a diet coke in it. I felt exhilarated when I poured that drink down my throat. I thought maybe if I controlled my drinking and only be a social drinker, I won’t have or create problems.

I just read the Bible it’s extremely intense. If John the Baptist told people to repent for their sins, he also speaks about you, Jesus. John the Baptist says, “I baptized you with water for repentance, but he who comes after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” Mathews 2:9

It appears that John the Baptist was touched by the Holy Spirit. Because he tells people to repent their sins. Jesus, you told John that you wanted him to baptize you. John was in shock, and you comforted John the Baptist the Bible writes: The Baptism of Jesus. Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan river to John, to be baptized by him. John would have prevented him from saying, I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me? But Jesus answered him. Let it be so now, for thus is it fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.”

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water and behold, the heavens were open to him, and he saw the Spirt of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; This is my beloved Son, with whom I am pleased.”

God all mighty showed himself in front of all the people who wanted to repent their sins with John the Baptist. Jesus, you wanted to be baptized by John the Baptist. Then after you got baptized, Jesus. God appears in the heavens. And God is all-powerful. For him to say those words maybe tell the people that there is only the Father and the Son of God. That was a powerful story of Jesus. You are pure. Why did you get baptized? Was it for the people to see with their own eyes that both the Father and the Son of God exist?

I would like to get baptized in the Christian faith. There is a church called “Just Church” I believe in Christians. No Catholicism for me. I believe you came to save our souls and for us to live a proper life with your fruits of love, faith, peace, joy, patience, understanding, and gentleness.

The Life Recovery Prayer Devotional book speaks about a narrow road ahead of us; the devil’s road is always wider. It says, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow, and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” Matthew 7:13-14

Today I try to walk the narrow road of faith. I have faith in my soul. I have joy in my heart for you. I believe in you, Jesus, every day. And I believe you will help me with my charter defects. Most days, there is peace. I try to humble myself throughout my day. I’m working on patience, which I need from you, Jesus. I don’t go out of my way to hurt someone’s feelings. Whereas before, when drinking alcohol, I never cared about people’s feelings. I acted as if I did care, but deep down inside, I only cared for the next drink. Love you, Jesus.