Self-Will Run Riot
June 19, 2022
Good morning, God in today’s reading was about “What to do when you don’t feel important? I never thought about that before. According to my favorite little brown book, God Promises for every day, “I can do all things through Christ because he gives me strength…So we can be sure when we say, I will not be afraid because the Lord is my helper. Don’t lose the courage you had in the past, which has great rewards. You must hold on, so you can do what God wants and receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36
When I was younger, I depended on my self-will, I would take the trains in Boston everywhere, and I had to be street smart. It was the only thing that I knew at the time. My street smarts helped me survive group homes for teenage girls, foster homes, and dealing with Social Workers. Being street savvy is a survival mechanism that taught me how to survive the streets of Boston. My father grilled us never let another person put their hand on us to fight back if someone did hit us.
I was on my own, going from place to place. Running away to my girlfriend’s house and slept over, drinking and smoking a lot of pot. I wasn’t returning to Orchard Home, a group home in Belmont, Massachusetts. If you were swearing at the counselors, they put you into restraints by sitting on us girls. That’s how counselors dealt with us in the early eighties. I was tired of them sitting on me, so I ran away from Orchard Home. The counselors would find me and ground me for the weekends. I was grounded a lot throughout my teen-age-years. LOL
According to DYS, I was a juvenile delinquent, but I was just a runaway who didn’t feel safe in those group homes and foster homes. DYS would place me into foster homes where I was a slave to one woman. She had me clean her house daily and rake the leaves in her huge yard. They were considering adopting me, but that wasn’t going to happen. I ran away again from Orchard Home and ensured I wouldn’t get adopted, especially living with that woman.
God, I know you gave me the strength I needed to survive. Today I’m not afraid of situations because I have you in my back pocket. You gave me courage in my teenage years to stand up for myself. And I did. I never hurt anyone unless they tried to hurt me first, which was very rare. I have always been the baby of any group; the older girls would protect me from other girls in the group home. Then I felt safe with Lisa F, Milly, and Maura Scott. They were my saving grace. No one dared to put their hands on me because of my new friends.
I’m no longer afraid because I have you, sweet Jesus, in my heart. I know my writing to you heals me, and I listen in prayer and pray for others in my life. Please protect my family and friends. I know you have my back, and thank you for Milly, Mara .and Lisa when I needed them. I pray someday; that I’ll bump into my friends from Orchard Home. Especially Milly, Maura, Lisa F., little Lisa, Rhonda, and some staff members. Gotto go, Gary needs his computer for a meeting. I love you, sweet Jesus. Have a beautiful day, and thank you!