Spiritual Awakening in Progress
August 21, 2022
Dear God, good morning. Thank you for Jeanne. She’s a love bug and looks a little like Joan Jet. Yesterday, Jeanne was worried and felt something terrible, and she texted me, “Answer your phone.” Jeanne is so funny. Then she called me. We spoke for forty-five minutes. I love spending time with Jeanne. Her humor is laughable; she speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back. She’s adorable and lovable too. Thank you for Jeanne. She lives a beautiful spiritual life.
Today’s reading from God’s Promises is about coming closer to God daily. It writes, “Then Jesus said, “I’ am the bread that gives life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35
Since two thousand and fifteen, I began to believe in you, sweet Jesus. I’ve seen movies about you over decades, and I still did not believe in you, Jesus. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me my whole life to call on you for help. I wrote to you when I was in despair. I turned to you for help, and I began to see and feel the presence of your spirit in me today. I feel lifted from my sorrows and my depression today. My heart is full of your fruits of love, peace, joy, kindness, and goodness, and it lifts me every morning when I write to you. I love writing to you because it brings me closer to you, sweet Jesus.
I love connecting with you, sweet Jesus, in the early morning. Today’s reading is about “Jesus is your Satisfaction.” It writes, “I will be content as if I had eaten the best food. My lips will sing, and my mouth will praise you. I remember you while lying in bed; I think about you through the night. I stay close to you; you support me with your right hand.” Psalm 63:5-6,8
I believe you rescued me from self-destruction when I drank alcohol daily. I believe you stopped me from drinking myself to death. I was drinking a gallon of red wine every two or three days. When drinking alcohol, I would black out and not remember things I’ve done in the past. I was drinking so much alcohol to forget the madness in my mind. I was battling depression, and I finally surrendered and gave up the alcohol for a day at a time. I knew I needed to return to the fellowship and stay sohba if I wanted to stay alive.
I was spiritually sick, a soul sickness, they called it. Without the fellowship, I think I would not stay sobha. And eventually die of alcoholism. It may be a quick death, and I need the fellowship to stay alive and sohba. Last year, I surrendered to your will, sweet Jesus. You came to me to remind me that you are my Savior, and I could go to you with all my defects, pains, and depressions. I’m grateful that you delivered so much love to me last year.
When I was lying on the floor in my bedroom, crying, and praying for help again, how selfish was I? You immediately came to me and lifted my soul that morning. You took me out of darkness and, yes, into the light. How many times have I heard that in the fellowship over the years?
God is the light of love, peace, compassion, understanding, joyfulness, and more. I felt your spirit in me when I begged for help a year ago. I felt good in my heart and that everything was going to be okay. I love Psalm it writes, “I stay close to you; you support me with your right hand.” Psalms 63:5-6,8
Today I stay close to you, Jesus, and you are my light. I love you so much for saving me from myself self will have run-riot behaviors. Today I see Fernando, and he’s my light too, and he understands me and loves me unconditionally. Thank you, Jesus, for sending a gentle soul to me, my Fernando.