August 13, 2022

Dear God, good morning. Please give me patience this morning. I need all the spirituality I can get. Gary told Roman we were going to John’s cookout, but he couldn’t go. Roman started getting aggressive and worse. He got upset when I told him the cookout was private. Roman was demanding to use Gary’s phone. Gary told him to leave, and Roman forced his way into Gary’s room. Gary got up, and Roman physically pushed Gary. Gary was shaking and upset. Gary told Roman either you go into a day program, or if not, Geri and I are moving. Roman proceed to destroy my bedroom. I ended up calling 911 because Roman was getting worse. Roman needs to be hospitalized again. His aggression scares me because he’s not medicated, right? Please, God, help Roman.

Roman does not know boundaries, and he’s incapable of understanding them. Roman, like me, grew up in the damn system, and then they let him live in a rooming house in Laurance where drug dealers, gang members, and addicts were hanging out. No wonder why Roman is scared, but Roman crossed the line. The day program could help Roman. Please watch over Roman and help him with his coping skills. Hopefully, Roman’s case worker, Greg, will put Roman in a day program. Thank you, God, for intervening and stopping Gary or Roman from getting hurt in any future. I’ll pray for Roman. I genuinely love Roman.

My dear friend and confidante Terri sent me a Birthday present, this book called “Life Recovery prayer Devotion,” by Afterburn and Harrison. I love the daily readings. It helps me to ground myself. Today’s reading is about the Holy Spirit. It writes, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. John 14:16

According to the Bible, the Holy Spirit brings love, peace, patience, joy, kindness, and goodness. These are the fruits of God, who wants us to be happy and to learn these blessings and lessons of life So that we can feel the Holy Spirit in our hearts. The book also writes about how we all need advocates, especially for recovering alcoholics or addicts. It says, “We who are in recovery need advocates-people who will be on our side and root for us in our struggles. What better advocate than God himself in the person of the Holy Spirit? I knew all along that you are the Holy Spirit, God. It took me some time to figure this one out.

We who are in recovery eventually find our faith in Jesus, Higher Power, Higher Spirit, Goddesses, Judaism, and Buddhism. Millions of recovering people from this horrible alcoholism and drug addiction disease have had to depend on Higher Power. Because the people in the meetings begin to believe, see, and fee not for mel the Holy Spirit working in their lives. They call it a “Higher Power.” Otherwise, we would perish into the abyss of darkness of alcoholism or drug addiction again.

I’ve known this darkness for a long time because I was an atheist, yet I tried to believe in you. Churches and worship were not for me. However, I wrote little letters to God for help in my book. And you came through and helped me to get sohba again. I was Alive, and this was a pivotal moment in my life. At the same time, drinking was taking me into dangerous neighborhoods. Being alive and still feeling empty inside my heart. My soul disappeared. I was stark raging sohba for the early years of my sobriety. Then I felt your presence in my bedroom over a year ago. It’s taken me years to believe in you, sweet Jesus, and I’m sorry for denying you, Jesus.

My strongest advocates are Fernando, Gary, Terri, and other friends and family. Even the beautiful women that I sponsor are my teachers. Seeing the elders during the week at Club 24 and attending 319 meetings supports my recovery. They all help me emotionally. If I’m struggling, they lift my spirits. Thank you always for being there for me, Jesus. Love me

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