The Grace of God
July 26, 2022
Dear God, good morning. I’m grateful that I can come to you any time of the day and breathe, pause, and proceed. I was sneezing most of the night. Not sure why. I felt healthy yesterday, but then I felt tired and weak. I shut my phone off and rested.
Today’s reading is about “The Grace of God.” I’m not sure what the “Grace of God” means. According to the Scriptures, it can mean many things. Such as God speaking to Moses. It writes, “Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will do what you ask, because I know you very well, and I am pleased with you. Then Moses said, “Now please your glory.” The Lord answered, I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will announce my name, the Lord, so you can hear it. I will show kindness to anyone to whom I want to show kindness, and I will show mercy to anyone to whom I want to show mercy.” Exodus 33:17-19
From the movies, I learned that God is all-powerful, and his love for us is unconditional. I was taught unconditional love through the fellowship. I knew very little about you, God. And throughout my whole life, I ran from you. I thought you were a punishing God without giving us mercy. That’s the Catholic religion, and I didn’t want any part of it. In the Christian religion, there’s no punishing God or revengeful God. Christians believe that God is faithful, loving, peaceful, understanding, joyful, kindhearted, and merciful. This is what I believe is true.
Even though it’s taken me this long to really get to know you, God, it’s hard to believe that I’m now writing to you, whereas before, I would run away. I remember when I wrote to you in my little brown book, God’s Promises for every day. I was grieving when the veterinarian told me my dog Annie had four-stage cancer. Annie was my baby. She was a beautiful Black Labrador and Chow. I never grieved as much as I did when Annie died. Since I don’t have children, Annie was like my baby.
Annie and I go for long rides in the car and long walks at the dog park. The Chow in Annie was to be loyal and protective; she was everything to me. I would go homeless before she would. She was my world, and I think I blamed you, God, for taking her too soon. She was only eight years old. But I read my book, and I wrote to you in my book. “Dear God and Jesus, please breathe life into my broken heart and heal my heart. I love you, dear God, and Jesus, you are my savior I love you.”
I was still drinking alcoholically when she passed away in two thousand and fourteen. I was so broken that I could nearly eat food. I felt empty inside my soul. I was drinking like a fish because Annie was gone. I gave up hope until I wrote to you. Begging you for help. But I was a falling down piss your pants type of drunk. I miss my Annie, but I think she’s on the “Rainbow Bridge” with the other animals, welcoming people to heaven.
Annie helped me to believe in you, God. She came to me in a dream. I apparently went to heaven and saw my Annie girl jumping up and down and all around. She was in no pain. Annie was calling me mommy in a human voice, saying to me, “Let’s play ball!” That was her favorite game. She was excited and happy. Annie was running on the most beautiful color of green grass I’ve ever seen; Annie was barking at me as well. She was showing what heaven looked like. I can’t say for sure that I went to heaven, but when I woke up, I then wrote to you, God. Was that a spiritual experience? I trust that I may have seen Annie again. Thank you for that unbelievable experience, God. I love you and have a beautiful day, God.