February 9, 2023

Dear God, good morning. The book, God’s Promises for every day, writes, “What the Bible has to say about love. My siblings kept me alive with unconditional love. My siblings loved me when I got hurt, and they helped me survive the physical abuse of my mother and the sexual abuse by my father.
Growing up with my parents was agony for us children. We were at my mother’s mercy. She physically wounded our bodies with my father’s belt buckle, which was tremendously painful. My mother whipped us all the time. To injure your children, my mother was a very sick, sick woman. Thank you, Jesus, for my siblings.
Both parents gave me up for adoption. I was fifteen when I learned my parents did not want me, and I was devastated and numb at the same time.
I was at Orchard Home, a group home for unwanted girls. That’s when I learned about my parents when I was giving up for adoption. Of course, I was distraught and yelled at the counselors. I ran to my girlfriend’s house and argued with the other girls at Orchard Home. I acted out because I was devastated and extremely hurt.
I never dealt with the fact that my parents gave me away. Pure anger is what I felt toward everyone that got close to me. The staff at Orchard Home kept me from visiting my siblings, and that caused more pain than anything else. I hated the world because I never received love from both parents.
In the early years, behaviorists studied two monkeys. They put two monkeys in a cage separately. One of the monkeys had its mother, and the other monkey had a mop and other items in his cell.
The second monkey had no mother and started to act out, banging his cage, and he was also crying and showing anger. Unfortunately, the second monkey died without any love or affection; that could have been me if I didn’t have my siblings to comfort and love me.
I forgave both parents for hurting me through you, Jesus. In the Bible, Jesus says if my mother or father leaves me, God will take me in.
In two-thousand-and sixteen, I wrote you a note, it writes, “Please, dear Jesus, shower your love down in my heart and soul. My heart was still broken when my dog Annie died of cancer. I blamed you, God, and I’m sorry. She was my world. My soul was empty, and I felt pain and anger.
Thank you, dear Jesus; I need you now and forever.” You did shower me with love. You got me sohba and saved me with your unconditional love for me.
I was reading my brown book God’s Promises for every day and stumbled on the page of love. What is love?
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done
Love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth
Love patiently accepts all things
It always trusts, always hopes,
And it remains strong
love never ends
Thank you for protecting me through all the heavy storms. I survived with your help, unconditional love from you and my siblings, and the lovely people you put in my life. Thank you, Jesus.