About The Unsaved.”
November 18, 2022
Dear God, Good morning. The reading is about “What the Bible has to say about, The Unsaved.” When I read this verse, I immediately thought about my biological parents. My mother refused you and was not a believer. My father got sohba, and Denise, my older sista, told me that he was repentant for his sins, Jesus. I sure hope so. According to you, Jesus, it say’s, “Jesus said to his followers, “Go everywhere in the world and tell the Good News to everyone. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved, but anyone who does not believe will be punished.” Mark 16:15-16
I truly feel sad for my mother because she told me she did not believe in God the Father and you, Jesus. And she never repented for her sins. I need to pray for her every day because she never knew about love and how wonderful it feels. I’m named after my mother, Geraldine. My mother did say decades later that she called me after her because she loved me.
I did not believe her. At one point in my life, I was going to change my name to Jolie. I did not want any part of my mother because she only visited me five times throughout my childhood and teenage years.
When I was young, my mother taught me that love was associated with physical and mental abuse. From what I remember, she never told me she loved or hugged me. I think my mother and father are the ones that are “Unsaved.”I will pray for their spirits to come to you, Jesus. Ohh, I don’t feel like a lost sheep anymore.
According to the Bible, it writes ” The Lord is not slow in doing what he promised- the way some people understand slowness. But God is being patient with you, and he does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants everyone to change their hearts and lives.
2 Peter 3:9
I have believed you throughout the years. Not faithfully, but I love you then, Jesus. I knew you were the “Prince of Peace” and that when you come to us, I will shout out, I love you, Jesus! The abuse surrounded the only dilemma I had. I could not wrap my head around why I had to go through heinous abuse by both biological parents.
Maybe it’s because I can be there for someone who has experienced all types of abuse, like myself. Perhaps this is through the fellowship I can help out other women. There are so many women. I forgot the woman’s meeting at seven p.m. last night, oops. I’ll try next Wednesday night again at 7:00 p.m. Terri strongly suggested that I attend the Wednesday night women’s meeting. Please help me to get to that women’s meeting.
. According to the Bible, “God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life.”
I was always lost and scared most of my life, which is understandable. Both parents abandoned me and gave me up for adoption. And I was enduring their abuse against me. I became a fighter at the age of ten. I fought boys off of me when I had to protect myself. I would hit someone if they touched me. I had to be a tough girl growing up in Boston, Masschattes. I was always friends with the toughest girls in group homes. They never bothered me. I carried fear around with me throughout my life.
I’ve been a sinner many times in my life, I learned how to lie a lot, and I believed in my lies when I was drinking alcohol. I feared talking to people, thinking that they could see how I was feeling at that very moment. I thought people were not to be trusted too. People were enemies to me, or so I thought. According to my biological mother, I thought they could see I was no good. She said hurtful things to me which are stuck in my mind. Such as, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!” It’s no wonder why I could not get close to anyone.
When I found alcohol, I was happy at the age of fourteen. I was having fun, and all the sad memories vanished when I was drinking. Alcohol was my best friend. I definitely took no shit from anyone at all. I became an adamant girl with alcohol in my system. Other teenagers did not mess with me because I acted tough to them, always looked angry, and I was mad at the world because I could not trust or believe in anyone. People were not to be trusted.
I had to be in control of everything. I thought I knew everything when drinking any alcohol, especially Captain Morgan or Red wine. When I drink alcohol, I act like a foolish person, and I am very controlling, and I can be controlling today, but I try to let go and let you run my life.
I believe that I’ve changed some of my old behaviors. I’m on my fourth step. Oh boy! Writing to you is the most important thing I do each morning. Thank you, Jesus. Jesus, you are the light that brought me to you. Thank you for saving me from my own destruction. You are the father, and you are everything to me. I love you immensely. Thank you, Jesus